Dogtags
by Kasia
Summary: Rogue has grown up, and everything is changing...
1. Prologue

Disclaimer: Don't own, don't sue. Thanx!  
Spoilers: If you haven't seen X2, stop here. Otherwise, you're good to go.  
  
--Dogtags--  
  
If it weren't for the nightmares she never would have heard him. It was John this time, and Rogue found herself reliving family events that seemed better off forgotten. She woke up with a start, and after looking around for a moment to make sure that she was still at home in her own bed, safe, she heard the sound of something being dropped on the floor outside her room. Curious, she got up and opened the door, and squinting under the hallway's bright light was surprised to see Logan next to her. There was a stuffed bag at his feet.  
  
"Did I wake you?"  
  
"I was already up." She glanced at the bag. "You running again?" There it was, their routine line. But she seemed hurt this time, and Logan suddenly regretted stopping at all. He should have just called from the road.  
  
"Not running, just taking a break. With summer coming, I won't be very useful around here anyhow."  
  
Rogue nodded. In the months since Alkali Lake, Logan had stayed close to home, taking up a position as a self-defense and mechanics teacher. He was quieter now that Jean was gone, but he and Scott seemed to be doing better. They even got along. Sort of. It was actually a little relieving when their sarcastic banter started back up. Rogue felt that things were finally getting back to normal.   
  
"I'll be back before you can miss me too much." He winked as he picked up his bag. "And tell that boyfriend of yours to behave or I'll slice and dice him."  
  
  
  
She stood at the front door in her nightgown and waved goodbye as Logan sped out the front gate on Scott's bike. Just like old times. Rogue sighed at the thought as she headed inside. Even when things changed, they were still the same. 


	2. Welcome Home

His first thought upon pulling up to the mansion was that he shouldn't have filled the tank in town. One less thing to annoy One-Eye later. The second was that it was early, really early, and short of some insomnia-induced miracle he would be the only one up and moving in the house. Logan wasn't even sure why he had the urge to ride through the night when they weren't expecting him until this evening, but here he was and the relaxation that eased through his muscles at the sight of the building made one truth clear.  
  
It was good to be home.  
  
Inside, he was heading for the kitchen when he heard someone running down the main stairs. He turned and there she was, framed by the early morning light. She had grown taller and her hair stopped just above her shoulders. She had also filled out a little more, but Logan tried to ignore that fact even as he was noticing it. No question, this was Rogue.  
  
She stood for a moment and smiled. "You're back." He smiled back and then she hurried forward to hug him. "Welcome home." Hugging was good, Logan decided. He hadn't done it in months, and she was always warm and liked to hold tight. She pulled away sooner than he expected. "It's really good to see you."  
  
"Same here." He lifted a bit of her hair. "Nearly didn't recognize you." A complete lie. Even without the scarf and gloves and beaming smile, he would have known her scent anywhere.  
  
"It's been five months, Logan. Things change." She grinned. "Including you." She scanned him. "You look good." She was a little too comfortable taking him in like a piece of meat. Logan wasn't used to her acting so... appreciative. "Careful. Don't want to annoy the boyfriend."  
  
Her smile faded. "Oh, Bobby and I aren't--"  
  
"Logan, it is you!" Storm approached them with a pleasant smile. "You're early."  
  
"And right on time," Rogue added. "We think Magneto's using a building in Maine to train mutants. Storm and I are gonna do a little snooping. We could use your senses."  
  
"Sure, I'm game."  
  
- - -   
  
The building was already deserted when they arrived. They would have made the trip yesterday but there had been an unexpected problem with the jet's engine and Scott had spent the entire night fixing it.  
  
Logan did a quick sweep to confirm that everyone was gone while Storm and Rogue looked for evidence of what had been going on. Aside from some debris scattered across the floor, though, there were only blackened walls and columns and doors. Rogue traced the scorched concrete wall with her gloved fingers, feeling a shiver crawl up her spine. "John did this." The next scorch mark, large and round, made her stop. "But this looks more like an explosion." She heard a small crunch and looked down, moving her foot away. On the ground lay the burnt remains of something small and white. Kneeling down she picked up one of the larger pieces and realized it was the charred corner of a playing card.  
  
"It's clear," Logan called out, walking up to her. "Find anything?"  
  
"I'm not sure."  
  
- - -   
  
Logan was in his room after dinner. There was still the vague scent of cigar smoke in the air, a fact he liked - it seemed to mark the place as his own. There was a knock at the door and Rogue entered. "Just wanted to check on you. Getting settled in okay?"  
  
"Everything's fine. Just the way I left it."  
  
"I can tell. Anyone suffering from nicotine withdrawal would be lucky to spend the night here." He grinned in response and she bit her lower lip. "I have a small confession to make."  
  
He stepped closer. "This could be interesting."  
  
"Oh, well, not really. It's just--remember the week before you left, when you caught me from falling down the stairs?"  
  
He nodded. "Sure."  
  
"Well, when we touched, I actually got an impression from you. Nothing big, but enough, and it got me thinking, so..." She reached into her pocket. "Here." She held out a small white tissue-wrapped package and smiled at his surprise. "It's nothing huge," she said softly, but her face said something different.   
  
Logan tore away the paper and opened the box, and fond himself looking at a pair of shiny new dogtags. Rogue stood by, hopeful. She'd had one inscribed with Logan and the other with Wolverine, and both shared a significant set of numbers - nevermind that she knew his real ID number by heart. Wearing dogtags constantly and fingering the imprinted symbols will have that effect. He held up the dogtags with a smile, then looked at her with an eyebrow raised in question.  
  
"I know the numbers aren't right. When we touched it was just enough to see you... that day at Alkali Lake. Those dogtags meant a lot to you but mostly they reminded you of a past you weren't sure you needed anymore. Those eight digits are the day you were first brought to the mansion." She smiled. "The day we met." Her eyes were steady on his and the smile wasn't fading. "New keepsake for new memories."  
  
She seemed fine but Logan was suddenly feeling uncomfortable and not entirely sure why. He opened his mouth to say something, anything, to fill the silence, but Jubilee and Kitty called from the hall and Rogue turned before he could find any words.   
  
"We're having a competition, guys vs. girls." Kitty announced, breathless.  
  
"It's about time we found you," Jubilee added. "We've been looking everywhere. We're claiming you for our team." She grinned at Logan. "You should watch, Wolvie. Rogue here has some pretty sweet moves."  
  
"I'm in," Rogue agreed. The two ran off and Rogue turned back at the door. "Coming?"   
  
- - -  
  
"Pool?"  
  
"I like it." She pulled the gloves up high on her arms. "It's one of those things I can do with the others without them worrying about contact. I mean, they're usually fine and everything, but sometimes it helps for them to be relaxed, you know?"  
  
Logan stood beside her and watched the current game. She was up next against Bobby and he suddenly recalled what she had started to say that morning. They seemed fine around each other but he'd been gone the entire summer. Whatever had happened, they both seemed over each other.  
  
Once the game started, however, Logan found himself questioning that assumption. Rogue was so busy concentrating on the game and laughing with her friends that the glances a few guys gave as she leaned over for a shot were missed by her. Not by Bobby, though, and the evil glances he shot them made it clear that he was still thinking of her as his girl. Logan couldn't really blame the kid. He knew firsthand what it was like to lose a great catch. Thoughts of Jean appeared in his head but he pushed them away. Now wasn't the time.  
  
- - -  
  
The students' tournament ended late, and after her early morning Rogue was one of the first to leave the group for bed. Logan walked her upstairs but was confused when she kept walking to the end of the hallway. "My new room," she explained, and walked in.  
  
It was the same size and style as Logan's but with small touches like sheer white curtains that gave the room a soft, womanly feel. "What's with the royal treatment?"  
  
"A promotion of sorts, I guess. I'm staying here and commuting to college next year. Professor and I agreed that I might as well get my own place sooner rather than later." Logan wondered if there was more to the story, but she didn't add anything so he didn't press.  
  
"So what you're saying is that I'm stuck with you, huh?"  
  
She grinned. "For a few more years, at least." She busied herself with pulling her hair into a ponytail. "What about you? Think you'll be running again anytime soon?"  
  
Despite her casual voice, Logan knew how important the answer was to her. "I don't know," he answered honestly.   
  
Smoothing her hair, Rogue moved close and looked up into his eyes. "It really is good to have you back," she said softly. She saw the chain around his neck and smiled. "Maybe one day you won't need to run anymore." She pressed two fingers to his chest, with only the shirt between her and his dogtags. "Like I said - new memories. You have a home here with us. Never forget that." She hugged him tightly and again let go before he expected. "Sweet dreams, Logan." 


	3. Missteps

It had been a week. Seven days of classes, homework, training in the Danger Room and catching Bobby staring at her. Life like normal, except that Logan was back and Rogue kept waiting for everything to change because of it.  
  
They'd had lunch his first full day there. Nothing special, just sandwiches with soda and one well-concealed beer, but it was nice to bond again. And for the last three nights they'd wandered down to the kitchen about the same time and stayed up for a couple of hours, snacking and chatting until Rogue could barely keep her eyes open. Truth was, after the first night she kept herself awake until one or so. Logan was more relaxed at night, in the dark, quiet rooms downstairs, and she was the only one he seemed willing -eager, even - to have around.  
  
These were little changes and Rogue welcomed them, but at the same time she kept catching herself waiting for more. Life was going on as always, but it didn't feel as though things were changing quickly enough. She felt stuck in some sort of limbo, and while her behavior and occasional off-hand comment hinted at this there was nothing upfront for Logan to pinpoint.   
  
On the seventh day, Xavier beckoned her telepathically and she slipped out as soon as Storm's class ended and went to his office. He greeted with the same warm smile but his eyes were a little wary and Rogue knew she wouldn't be getting much homework done tonight. "Another late dinner?"  
  
"I'm afraid so. We'll all meet after classes end, but I wanted to inform you ahead of time. I know you have a lot of work, Rogue, I don't want you caught off guard." In the beginning, Scott had suggested that they give her extended deadlines that year, but the last thing she wanted was to stand out even more. Besides, she wouldn't get special treatment in college - why get used to it now?   
  
"Thanks. I'll cancel my shopping trip with Kitty and finish my paper for Storm this afternoon."  
  
"I know how difficult it is to find free time for your friends these days. I wouldn't ask on a weekday if I didn't expect so many opponents tonight."  
  
"It's fine," she insisted with a smile. "I'll be ready. See you at the meeting."  
  
"Four o'clock sharp."  
  
"Sure," she waved as she headed back out. "Thanks again."  
  
It hadn't been as easy to be nonchalant with Kitty. She had really been eager to have Rogue's opinion, but the trip had already been postponed once and there was a deadline: Kitty was going to a formal with a boy she'd met in Westchester. Somebody needed to have a life, Rogue thought with a sigh. If Magneto was up to new trouble, her workload was only going to get worse from here on. No point in keeping everyone on hold because of her double life. Everyone knew that Rogue was a full-fledged X-Man these days, and it actually helped matters. At the very least, people weren't questioning her busy, distant behavior.   
  
Logan had come into the library at the end of this conversation, only catching Rogue's apology for something and Kitty's understanding acceptance. He could tell Rogue was disappointed and trying to hide it for her friend's sake. Something to cheer her up was definitely in order.   
  
An hour later he stood in her open bedroom doorway and knocked on the wall. She looked up from her school books with a smile that broadened on sight and she asked him in. The Professor had told him just minutes ago that a mission was coming up that afternoon, giving Logan an idea on how to make Rogue happy.  
  
He closed the door behind him and produced his dogtags. "I figure it's tradition." Instead of passing them on every time he decided to run for the Canadian mountains, why not something more frequent? Missions seemed perfect. Hell, the dogtags felt more like hers than his anyhow.  
  
"You're giving them to me?"  
  
"For safe keeping. I'll be back for them by tomorrow."  
  
She didn't seem as pleased as he had expected, and Logan realized that he may have been misinterpreting everything. "Look, kid, it's no big deal. If you don't want 'em--"  
  
"No! I mean, it's not that." She frowned. "It's the mission."  
  
Logan's features relaxed. "Oh. Hey, I'm coming back."  
  
"But I may not." She seemed annoyed by his puzzled look. "Last week wasn't some one-time thing, Logan. I go on all the missions now." She glanced at the dogtags. "If something happens, I don't want you to lose them because of me." And that was that. Logan opened his mouth to respond, then shut it when he couldn't think of anything. She couldn't quite read the look on his face.  
  
"Alright," he finally managed gruffly, turning and walking out the door.  
  
"I didn't mean to upset you," she called out.  
  
"I'm not mad," he replied, shutting the door and stalking down the hallway. "Not with you."  
  
- - -  
  
He didn't bother to knock, but Xavier was a telepath - he should expect the stomping fury coming his way, right?  
  
He came in and shut the door and, as always, got right to the point. "When did you decide to make her one of you?"  
  
Xavier looked up with calm blue eyes. "It was Alkali Lake, actually. If she hadn't taken the initiative and flown the jet to us, we would all be dead."  
  
"That was nearly a year ago."  
  
"The decision itself came later, of course. But her potential was made very clear that day, and I've always hoped that Rogue would benefit from being on the team as much as we did. She needed something promising in her life." He didn't add, 'after you left', but they both knew it was insinuated. Logan had an itching feeling this was yet another hint at this summer's events, but now wasn't the time. There were more pressing matters. "Is something in particular the matter?"  
  
"You mean aside from no one bothering to tell me?"  
  
"We assumed Rogue would announce it to you."  
  
"She didn't," he snapped.  
  
"Perhaps she gives your expectations more credit. You were teamed up your first day back, after all."  
  
"Look, it's not the missions that bother me, it's what they're doing to her."  
  
Xavier frowned. "Rogue is young and relatively new to the team. If she's having trouble accepting the potential dangers--"  
  
"It ain't that," Logan growled. "It's the fact that she isn't. We were just upstairs, and she's talking about her own death without a twinge."  
  
"Her ability has forced Rogue to mature faster than most people her age. Loss of innocence is an unfortunate fact, but she seems to be handling everything quite well these days." Xavier gave Logan a knowing look. "You've been a fertive protector in the past, Logan. Perhaps the real issue is your own need to save a young woman who may not need saving anymore."  
  
Logan considered that idea for a moment then pushed it away. "If something happens to her--"  
  
"The situation isn't as dire as you're picturing, Logan. We wouldn't place her in a role she wasn't prepared for, no matter how much she may need it. And you'll still be a team, after all - protect her just as you would protect anyone else on a mission, and there shouldn't be a threat."  
  
- - -  
  
A secret military project was in progress, discovering protections from mutants. To prevent sabotage, a copy of all information and prototypes was being kept in a secure box that was constantly on the move, the entourage only stopping for updates every two months. During its last stop, Magneto's team had confiscated the container. Today, using Cerebro, Xavier located what he believed to be the box's current location.  
  
Inside the warehouse, the above-ground floors were empty and the basement was a complex maze of halls and dead ends that weren't in the building's schematics. The group split up, with Logan reluctantly leaving Rogue when their section divided into two endless hallways. "Be careful," he warned before walking away. "Call if you need help." She silently nodded and headed off on her own.  
  
The turns and empty rooms left her dizzy after awhile, and it didn't help that the complete silence was occasionally interrupted by the muffled sounds of fighting off in some direction she couldn't determine. No one was asking for help on the comm yet, so she tried to keep the knots in her stomach to a minimum.   
  
After yet another turn, her hallway met another. Up ahead a pile of rubble, still a little dusty, partially blocked the hallway. To her left the other hallway continued. She was debating which way to go when footsteps to her left startled. She peeked around the corner and found herself saying in surprise, "John!"  
  
He hadn't expected her sudden smile. "Miss me?"  
  
"Hell yeah!" Her smile quickly faded. "I didn't expected you to be here."  
  
"Someone's gotta get the job done," he replied casually. "...You here to kill the boss?"  
  
She gulped. "John--"  
  
"It's Pyro now."  
  
"John," she said determinedly, "you can come back with us. We'd all love it."  
  
He shook his head. "This is where I belong." A metal click made her jump, and she realized that he had flicked open his lighter.   
  
"I-I don't wanna fight you."  
  
He studied her for a moment. "It's gonna come up eventually, you know."  
  
"It still sucks," she pointed out vehemently.  
  
"Yeah. Yeah, it does." He glanced pointedly at the pile of debris ahead of them. "Thought I heard something - guess it was just you." The lighter flicked shut. "Do yourself a favor and leave. I gotta get back." He turned around and headed back the way he came. "And say hey to Bobby for me." He left Rogue even more unsure than before. She eyed the rubble before her but Logan called out from behind before she could think straight again.  
  
"Any luck?"  
  
"Um, John." He glanced at her, surprised. "He went that way. I think there's something down there."  
  
Logan nodded. "Okay, I'll check it out. Why don't you stay here, look around some more." She nodded in agreement and he hurried away. Once he was out of earshot she walked closer to the rubble, and realized just how fresh the pile was. Dust was still rising from the fractured clumps of cement that were once the ceiling above. More importantly, there was something sticking out of the pile just around the corner.   
  
She snuck around the debris to the other side and found herself staring at the arm and head of an unconscious girl. Possibly dead. She wasn't moving anytime soon, that was for sure. After a moment of consideration, she looked back up to the ceiling. Scott had probably run into her and blown a chunk of the ceiling to end a fight. But why had John pointed her out?  
  
Rogue thought for a moment, and realized that something about the mission had been bothering her all day. She thought over her team and theirs, the details of the mission, the contents of the box--  
  
There, that was it. Magneto and the box. The fit hadn't made sense, and now she knew why. So many gadgets and a computer full of information, all one of a kind except for in some heavily secured hidden military base that even the X-Men couldn't find. She knew enough about Magneto from what was left in her mind, and familiarity told her that he wouldn't risk losing anything. If something were to go wrong and he used his power, who was to say that the magnetic pull wouldn't mess with one of their new-found toys. No, he would be more cautious than that.  
  
Which meant that Magneto was someplace other than where ever the others were headed, and she could be dead before any of them would reach her in this maze. Gazing at the girl before her, she realized the potential and silently thanked John. She'd known there was still hope for him and this attempt to protect her was proof.   
  
The girl was already unconscious and she would be careful to control how much she took. Still, even as she felt herself justifying it, Rogue's hand shook a little as she slipped it from the glove and touched the girl's forehead. For a moment, there was nothing, then her body found its target and the sudden burst of energy nearly knocked her back. Even unconscious and half-dead, this girl was powerful, and Rogue pulled back almost immediately, dizzy from the new powers racing through her system and the knowledge and feelings of this girl, Wanda, the daughter of Magneto.  
  
"Wow." Not a good wow, but wow nonetheless. The only word she could mutter, and somehow the one that made the most sense. Nothing else short of 'oh, shit' would suffice, really. She was facing multiple powers for the first time, all completely new to her, and the fact that she quite possibly just lengthened the coma of Magneto's only daughter. Even with powers, if Magneto found out while she was still down here, Rogue knew she would be more screwed than before. "Better find him first," she mumbled. No way she could take him down right now, not with the unexpected powers exhausting more than energizing her body, but a distraction was all she needed. She had to buy the others all the time they needed.  
  
She continued down the hall, slipping her glove back on.  
  
- - -   
  
The deep murmur of a voice was her first guide. Then, the first lighted room in ages came into view around a corner. She could hear Magneto conferring over a radio, speaking of images that were apparently appearing on a laptop. Taking her time sneaking up to avoid any unnecessary noise, she finally made it to the open doorway and peered in, and was relieved to find his back momentarily turned as he pulled a file from a small stack. She pressed herself against the wall before he turned back around and thought on what to do. She couldn't risk calling for help, and with radio silence since she and Logan had parted Rogue figured that the others probably had their hands full at the moment. It was all on her.  
  
Magneto suddenly stopped speaking and Rogue knew that he somehow sensed her presence. With a deep breath she stepped into the doorway. The light was aimed at the back of the room, leaving her dimly lit.  
  
For a moment he only watched her, then finally stood and advanced a step. Still, she couldn't bring herself to move forward. All she could remember was Liberty Island and the pain and power he had controlled. But even as she felt panic, the tingle of energy in her fingertips calmed her. He didn't know yet that she was using Wanda's powers. Unlike her, who had him in her head to this day, he didn't know anything about her. She was still just the girl he'd kidnapped more than a year ago.  
  
Magneto wanted to laugh. He had expected the Wolverine or perhaps that lovely Storm, someone worthy of his time. Instead, they had sent this slip of a girl back to him. Aside from the occasional mocking, she had outgrown any usefulness to him. Fighting her was nearly an insult.  
  
Rogue advanced slowly, her face shadowed.  
  
"Be serious, little girl. There's no one left to save you this time."  
  
She stopped and lifted her chin, revealing dark eyes and a sly smile. "I'm all grown up." She thrust her hands forward, hitting Magneto with a pulse of energy. He slammed into the brick wall behind and slumped to the ground, leaving a crumbling indent.  
  
She walked out the entrance without a second look back. "I don't need anyone to fight my battles for me anymore."  
  
- - -  
  
Still radio silence. It was a nasty blow she had given Magneto - he wasn't getting up anytime soon. The only thing left to do now was join the others and finish the mission. Already Wanda's powers were leaving her, and after such a sudden burst of use she was feeling a little disoriented.   
  
The corner up ahead was the debris and Wanda, and further up the turn to head towards Logan and the others. She thought momentarily of John and what could be happening even now, but she shoved that thought aside and turned the corner.  
  
And stopped short at the sight of young man, barely older than herself, standing next to the rubble. The rubble where Wanda no longer was.   
  
Rogue struggled to keep her pulse calm. The loss of power was making her feel bad enough, but Wanda's emotions were still in her head and struggling with her own. How could she win a fight when it was hard to even concentrate? And there was no question this man was one of Magneto's - the fresh gray streaks of dust on his black clothes were proof enough that he had pulled Wanda free. Yet all he did was watch her as she watched him, a cocky grin appearing, his curious all-black eyes with red pupils looking her up and down. Her headache was getting worse. Best to just get this over with quickly.  
  
"And who might you be?" She actually sounded confident. That was a good start.  
  
"I'm an employee of your enemy."  
  
"I believe the term is 'henchman'."  
  
"Either way, I believe that makes me one of the bad guys."  
  
"And I'm not." She pushed back a loose strand of hair and he eyed the white streaks.  
  
"So you're the lovely one Pyro keeps mentioning." He stepped closer with a playful grin. "If your teammates are as beautiful, Remy may have to change sides, no?" He produced a card from somewhere, flipping it forward between two fingers.  
  
She glanced down and raised an eyebrow. "King of Hearts?"  
  
"You have no idea, chere."  
  
"So you're a lover and a fighter, is that it?"  
  
Gambit shrugged. "I'm really just in this for the fun."  
  
"Fun?" She shook her head in disgust. "Look, either fight me or back off. I don't have time for bored playboys."  
  
He eyed her again, more carefully this time. "You don't look well."  
  
"Better than you'll look if you don't move."  
  
He grinned and started to reply when a low moan from ahead stopped him. He held the card up. "We'll continue this another time." The card lit up with flames and he flung it down the hall she'd just left, exploding on contact with the floor. She shielded her eyes from the blast, and when she looked back he was gone. So was Wanda.  
  
- - -  
  
She could barely sense the powers, so why the hell wouldn't these emotions go away as well? She was still heading towards the group, one hand on the wall for support. She could barely walk with all the confusion in her head. And her knees were threatening to buckle underneath her. She wasn't using the fading powers, so why the exhaustion?  
  
"Rogue, that you?" Scott, from somewhere up ahead. It took her a moment to realize that it was pitch black. The lights had gone out and she didn't even notice.  
  
"Yeah." She cleared her throat, spoke louder. "I'm over here."   
  
She forced herself to straighten up, and soon heard a long confident stride come up to her. A warm hand gripped her upper arm. Scott's voice came from the dark, "You'll be able to see up ahead. I'll guide you - just try to watch your step. There may be some debris in your way." She nodded, only to realize that he couldn't see it and managed to say, "Okay." She didn't say anything else and tried to pool her energy as light slowly appeared ahead until they turned a corner and found themselves in a large, nearly empty room. The floor was covered in huge slabs of broken concrete and above, Rogue could see a large metal box disappearing through a hole that used to be a wall on the first floor.   
  
"I added a sunroof," Scott said with a grin. "Using the jet's cables seemed the only way to get it out of here."  
  
She nodded, knowing he could see her this time, and concentrated on watching Storm and Logan double-check all the cables' latches. She felt a surge of relief at seeing them unharmed, and tried hard not think of where John was in all of this. Probably with Remy, whoever the hell he was. Rogue wondered if Xavier would recognize him by name or description.  
  
Logan looked down at her from the first floor and smiled, and Rogue decided it was worth what little energy she had left to smile back. 


	4. Unexpected

She had been quiet the whole way home, and granted he hadn't been around lately but Logan doubted this was typical Mission Rogue behavior. When they got back to the mansion she changed back into normal clothes and slipped away without a word to anyone. He tried catching up at the elevator, but she didn't even look up when he called out. She just stared at the floor as the doors slid shut.  
  
"She must have absorbed someone's power," Storm said, walking up to him. "She's still getting used to having people in her mind."  
  
"She gonna be okay?"  
  
"She always is. Just give her some time."  
  
- - -  
  
It was late when they got back and everyone was already settling in upstairs, so Rogue headed to the library for some space. There were still a few students working on their papers at the last minute, but Rogue just claimed a random book from a shelf and chose a chair and table that faced the windows.   
  
She opened the book and tried to concentrate, but the words kept swimming in front of her eyes. The pain in her head wasn't going away; in fact, it was only getting worse.   
  
Rogue tried again to read but it seemed to take too much energy. And all the noise in her head...  
  
"Rogue?" She looked up with surprise, opening eyes she hadn't even realized were shut. Logan was standing next to her, looking concerned and even a little... scared. Scared? What scared the Wolverine? Rogue felt the muscles in her hand cramping and looked down to find her fingers digging into the book, the pages tearing as they were pulled away. She yanked her hand away and slammed the book shut.  
  
"Hi." Her voice didn't sound as weak as she expected, just tired.   
  
"You okay?"  
  
"Yeah, I just..." He wasn't buying it. He was Logan, he knew her better than that. Better than anyone. "It's from today." She wanted to tell the truth. Wanted to be weak around someone for a change and feel like she wasn't a disappointment because of it. "Kinda hard to fight the bad guys when they're stuck in your head."  
  
Suddenly, Logan wasn't just worried, he looked all kinds of serious. "You talked to Professor Xavier about this?"  
  
"No." Damn it, her eyes were starting to water up. The one emotion that was her own, and it had to be this. "I mean, sort of, but not this time." She pushed the book away and stood up. "I wanted to ignore it," she admitted.  
  
"Hey, there's nothing wrong with having some trouble." He studied her with deep, sincere eyes. "If you're scared you can tell me."  
  
"Must seem pretty silly, huh?" she sniffed. "None of the others have this problem."  
  
He tucked a strand of white hair behind her ear. "You're not like the others." He meant it as a compliment but her eyes darkened and she stepped back.  
  
"I didn't mean that as a--"  
  
"I'm fine."  
  
"Rogue--"  
  
"Logan, I'm fine. Promise." She forced a smile. "See you at dinner."  
  
She walked away and Logan stood alone in the library, wondering how the hell so much had changed while he was gone.  
  
- - -  
  
Normally, Rogue loved the late dinners she shared with the group. It was a chance to unwind and get Xavier caught up. It was also one of those few times when she felt completely in place. The meals were X-Men only and the conversation was always familiar and relaxed. Tonight, she couldn't wait for it to end.   
  
The others seemed to notice and mostly left her alone. Logan, though, ever blunt, kept looking her way. Rogue just focused on her food and pretended not to notice. She was doing such a great job, in fact, that Scott had to say her name three times before she was finally aware of it. "Sorry, what?"  
  
"The salt. Could you pass it?"  
  
"Oh, um, sure." She handed it over, still ignoring Logan's looks, and smiled at Scott. "Sorry, guess I'm a little tired."  
  
"Not a problem." He smiled back then returned to his conversation with Storm.   
  
"Rogue?"  
  
"Yes, Professor?" Everyone looked at her in confusion. "What?"  
  
"I was speaking to you telepathically, Rogue," Xavier explained. "Is everything alright?"  
  
She glanced at Logan. "I'm fine."  
  
"Are you sure?"  
  
She felt a twinge of annoyance. "Of course I am."  
  
Logan finally spoke up. "Rogue, maybe you should tell--"  
  
Flushed with sudden anger, she glared at him. "I said I'm fine!" The crash of shattered glass made her jump. She looked behind her and saw one of the bread plates lying in pieces on the floor. A glance at her place confirmed that it was hers. She hesitantly looked up at the group and understandably, they were surprised. All but Xavier were getting out of their seats.  
  
"Rogue, honey," Storm began, "maybe--"  
  
"Stop," she ordered. "I said I'm fine." She stood and turned to Xavier. "I'm sorry about that. I'll clean it up."  
  
"It's not the plate we're worried about." He watched her for a moment, then raised his eyebrows in interest. "You're different."  
  
"Stay out of my mind," she snapped, then caught herself. "I'm sorry. It's just--"  
  
"Wanda," Xavier finished for her. "She's the one doing these things, not you."  
  
Her eyes narrowed. "I'm capable of anger, you know. Jesus, a few helpless moments and suddenly the whole fucking world thinks you're innocent."  
  
"Rogue," Logan warned, "you need to calm down."  
  
"No, you need to back off." Even as she thought it, he was flying through the air, slamming into the back wall and falling on his hands and knees. Now, everyone looked worried. "Oh sure, freak out. What now? Tell me to stop the temper tantrum, send me upstairs without dessert?"  
  
"It's certainly more complicated than that," Xavier pointed out.  
  
"Of course it is, but you wouldn't really know. A peek inside my brain doesn't tell everything, you know." Her head was beginning to pound. "You all think it's so easy to make things better. Even in the mutant world, life is just black and white, good and bad." The dishes were lifting off the table, slowly spinning, and she wasn't even phased. "Well I'm sick of it. If life's so easy and I'm so difficult, why don't you just give up already?!" The dishes were going higher, spinning until they were blurry. "Everyone knows I'm hopeless."  
  
Scott took a step forward, softly saying, "You need to let us help you."  
  
"I don't need your help!" Her whole body felt hot. The table was beginning to tremble. "I just want things to be better."  
  
Logan was on his feet and slowly advancing, "Kid, you better--"  
  
"I told you to leave me alone!" she shrieked. The table shot back, pinning him against the wall. Storm and Scott reached out and she tossed them back without a thought. The pain in her head was terrible and everything was starting to look fuzzy.  
  
And then Xavier was in her mind, vying for attention, crowding her already busy mind, asking her to calm down in a soothing voice, over and over.   
  
"Please stop," she whimpered. "I don't want to hurt you."  
  
"Then don't."  
  
Her heart wouldn't slow down. The dishes dipped, lifted back up, then crashed to the floor in loud unison. She jumped at the sudden noise, and looked around her as if noticing everything for the first time.   
  
"God..." She was tired and her eyes were becoming hot and wet. "Oh my god, I'm sorry." She looked at Logan in a panic. "I'm so stupid. Oh, god, I'm so sorry."  
  
"Rogue--" he choked.  
  
"Don't." She slowly backed towards the doors. "I didn't mean... This wasn't..." She looked at them all in turn, feeling her body shake with exhaustion. Her mind was finally quieting down. "Please just leave me alone." She turned and ran out, the wooden doors splintering as they slammed shut.  
  
Logan stared at the doors then pushed the table away. "Lemme guess, I've got first dibs on talking with the crazy girl."  
  
"It might be wise to go now," Xavier suggested. "You're the only one she might listen to, and despite her request, I hardly think it would be wise to leave her alone in a house filled with sleeping children."  
  
- - -  
  
There were a lot of loud shuffling sounds coming from her room. Logan suspected that Rogue was taking her anger for herself out on her possessions. He knocked and the noise stopped abruptly. After a moment he knocked again and received a hesitant, "Yes?"  
  
Logan walked in, careful to close the door behind him, and she visibly relaxed. "Just promise there's no one else waiting out there."  
  
"Nah, just me." He grinned. "I think the others are a little too scared."  
  
Rogue frowned. "Is Xavier angry?"  
  
He shook his head. "Just concerned. You weren't exactly yourself down there."  
  
She stiffened and Logan felt her heartbeat speed up. Rogue was not happy. "Maybe this is the new me." Not a fact she sounded proud of, which relieved Logan more than he expected. The more influence Wanda had over that mess than her, the better.  
  
"Or maybe you're not ready for this." She looked up with hurt eyes. Damn it, he was screwing this up already.   
  
"You don't think I belong here, do you?" Damn, damn, damn. How had things gone so wrong, so quickly? "I'm too young, too weak."  
  
"That's not what I meant--"  
  
"What do you want, Logan?"  
  
He breathed deeply through his nose and straightened his shoulders. Out with it already, before he made things even worse. "I..." She gazed at him expectantly. Even now, angry and tired, she was willing to listen. "I think you need to rest. Let yourself be overwhelmed."  
  
"I can handle my life."  
  
"Our sudden supply of kindling suggests otherwise." She looked down in shame. Okay, so no more dry humor. "Kid, I'm just worried about you. We all are."  
  
"I wish you wouldn't. I can do this, I just didn't expect any of that stuff downstairs. I thought Wanda's powers had already left, but..." She looked up with hopeful eyes. "You can come closer, if you want. That scene downstairs drained the last of it from me."  
  
He grinned and sat on the bed, gesturing for her to do the same. "I figure I'm safe. Throw me around again and you'll be hurting more than I do. My body heals, your stuff won't."  
  
They sat a moment longer before she finally relaxed, letting her body lean against his and lying her head on his shoulder. He wrapped an arm around her shoulders. "Like old times," she murmured.  
  
- - -  
  
He left her half an hour later, still awake but much calmer. Downstairs everyone was waiting for a report, and when he announced that everything was fine they were a little hesitant to listen at first. Finally, Storm and Scott bid them goodnight, and Logan followed Xavier into his office for further discussion.   
  
"I'm not asking for all the really personal stuff," Logan was arguing, "just the basics. Something must have happened while I was gone. Absorbing powers never affected her like this before."  
  
"You were gone for nearly five months and Rogue is -mentally and legally- an adult. People grow, Logan."  
  
"Grow, yes. Become telekinetic psychos and turn on their friends, no."  
  
Xavier sighed. "As always, you want the blunt truth and nothing else. Very well. Rogue is maturing and so are her powers. Her mutation is a natural part of her but unless she develops some control it will destroy her."  
  
"Then why aren't you helping her?"  
  
"I knew she was having trouble, but I had no idea it had gotten this far. I doubt even she expected any of this. I suggested we try developing control over her power, or the after-effects at least, but she was determined to try on her own first." He smiled knowingly. "She's much like you in that respect."  
  
"That's not comforting," Logan retorted. "I know myself too well."  
  
"If it's any consolation, I believe Rogue is perfectly capable of making this better."  
  
"So do I, and maybe I can't help her at all, but I still wanna know what's going on. This is Rogue we're talking about." It seemed like that was all the explanation he needed. Xavier considered the man before him for a moment, then gestured towards a chair. He sat, and Xavier began the story of Rogue.  
  
- - -  
  
Rogue went back downstairs long after their conversation had ended. She'd forgotten how empty the mansion could feel when everyone was asleep. She purposely avoided the dining room, instead wandering around the main floor for a bit before settling on the back yard as her destination. The stars would be pretty outside, and she needed some fresh air.   
  
On the way, though, she heard noises in the kitchen and decided to stop in. Maybe she could hang out with one of the students for awhile, act normal before news of her mess spread like wildfire tomorrow morning. She was surprised to find that it was Scott rummaging through the freezer, and wondered for a guilty moment if he'd had a chance to eat enough before his plate flew away. She wanted to sneak away but he had already spotted her. Instead of a panicked jump, though, he'd only smiled and said, "Hey."  
  
"Hey. You're still up."  
  
"Busy night. I'm not really tired."   
  
"Right." That was Scott, right to the point. She couldn't seem to master small talk with him.  
  
"Icecream?" he offered, pulling out a pint.   
  
"No, I'm good." She was careful to keep her distance as he walked to the counter, grabbing two spoons on the way. He sat, took a couple of bites without saying anything else, then pushed the other spoon in her direction. She grinned and gave in, taking a seat next to him and scooping up a bite. It was chocolate, after all, and she was only human.  
  
"So did Logan's inexplicable charm make you feel any better?"  
  
"A little. It was like we were back on the train. Even the speech was the same: you're normal here, it's gonna be okay, the Professor can help."  
  
"Just like old times," he nodded.  
  
"Yeah." She spooned another mouthful thoughtfully. "Yeah..."  
  
"Thinking that's not a good thing?"  
  
"Maybe," she sighed. "Or maybe I don't know what I'm thinking. Things just keep getting more complicated."  
  
"Welcome to the lives of the X-Men." He dug up an extra large bite. "When it seems things can't get worse, they do."  
  
"This from our fearless leader. Not your most encouraging comment ever."  
  
"Rogue, it's three in the morning. I'm sitting at a kitchen counter in my pajamas eating twice the chocolate icecream of my younger female colleague. For the sake of my image, let's keep the fearless leader out of this, okay? We're just two friends bonding over a midnight snack."  
  
She smiled and nodded, and continued to eat. She was so happy with Scott's relaxed, friendly behavior that she didn't bring up anything else dramatic until the empty container was in the trash and they were on their way to the stairs. Rogue stopped and Scott looked back. "Problem?"  
  
"Do you want me off the team?" It rushed out before she could stop herself. If the dining room stunt was going to cost her, she wanted to know now.  
  
"Guess Logan didn't do as good a job after all," Scott muttered. He stepped closer. "Note that you're still in this house. If I wanted you out, you'd know it. I have every faith that you can handle this. So far, you're really not doing as badly as you think."  
  
"I ruined your dining room."  
  
"Yes."  
  
"I could have killed any of you. All of you."  
  
"Maybe."  
  
"None of you would let it get that far, if you were in the same position."  
  
"We're not perfect, Rogue. And none of our gifts are like yours. At the end of the day, we get to leave the bad guys where they belong - you have to carry them home. We may not get all the details, but we understand more than you think."  
  
"It's not just my powers."  
  
"What then?" No answer. "You can just say it. I won't hold anything against you."  
  
She seemed to debate a minute more, and then--"Everything's changed," she blurted, "and I feel like if I'm anything like I used to be, I'm a failure. So if I make any mistakes, I'm not one of you - I'm just seen as the lost girl you brought home one day." She took a breath, then added, "What if I said that I just wanted to quit, to give up for a while and run away?"  
  
"I'd say you were lying."  
  
"What?"  
  
"Logan runs, Rogue, not you. When it comes to these matters you're a helluva lot smarter than he is. You've known since the beginning that there was no point in running. And as long as you know there isn't a point, you'll never find comfort in leaving this place, because even when it's hard, at least being here makes it easier."  
  
- - -   
  
Rogue went to Xavier's office before morning classes began. He looked up with a warm smile and asked what she needed. After a deep breath, she said, "I don't wanna hide anymore. I need to control this. I need to make things better. Will you help me?" 


End file.
